Как написать парню что хочу побыть одна

1. 

   Alone time can mean different things to different people. For some, alone time is heading out into the wilderness on their own. And for other people, alone time is sitting in the same room as their partner, but not talking to them. Sit down and think about what alone time means for you and ideally how often you’d like to have alone time throughout the week. You should never feel bad about asking for alone time—it’s a very healthy (and normal) thing to ask for.^[1]
   

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1. 

   Choose a place where you and your boyfriend can talk openly and honestly. If you live together, try chatting in your living room or your kitchen. If you don’t, meet up at a secluded park when no one else is around. Try to pick a time when you’re both feeling calm and unstressed to ensure the conversation goes well.^[2]
   

   • If you aren’t sure whether your boyfriend is in the mood to talk, ask him something like, “Hey, is now a good time?”

1. 

   Head into the conversation with positivity, and try to have a discussion. You don’t want to tackle the problem by pitting you and your boyfriend against each other. Instead, think of it as you two vs. the problem: it’s you and your boyfriend figuring out how to meet your needs while in this relationship.^[3]
   

   • Try to avoid blaming your boyfriend, too. Stay away from phrases like, “You don’t give me enough alone time,” or, “We hang out too much.”

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1. 

   Lead with a positive to make him feel less anxious. Hearing that your partner needs more alone time can be a little bit jarring, and it might give your boyfriend pause at first. Let him know that you genuinely enjoy his company and you want to be with him still before launching into your request. Try something like:^[4]
   

   • “You know I love spending time with you. Seeing you is the best part of my day!”
   • “I always have so much fun when we’re together. You bring out the best in me.”

1. 

   Mention how often you’d like to be alone, and don’t be afraid to get specific. If you only need a few hours to yourself, you could ask for alone time one day a week. Or, you could request that you and your boyfriend hang out every other day so you get alone time in chunks throughout the week. Making a specific request will be much easier for both of you to follow through on, which is why it’s important to keep this in mind.^[5]
   

   • For instance, you might say, “Maybe Tuesday nights could be our nights apart? I could go out and you could stay home, or vice versa.”
   • Or, you could say, “I was thinking we could see each other every other day instead of every day. That way, I have enough alone time throughout the week, and I come back to you feeling refreshed.”

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1. 

   Remind your boyfriend that you need alone time away from everyone. He could be the most perfect boyfriend in the world, and you’d still need your space every now and then. Really emphasize that your need for alone time isn’t about him—it’s all about your needs and boundaries in the relationship.^[6]
   

   • Say something like, “This isn’t about you at all, okay? I’m just an introvert, and I’m not used to spending so much time with another person.”
   • Or, “I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you. I need a lot of space to recharge, and that’s always been a thing in my life.”

1. 

   Try to compromise if he wants less alone time than you. As you two chat, listen to what he wants and needs, and try to compromise with him as best you can. Be willing to be flexible, and talk together as a couple to make sure both of your needs are met.^[7]
   

   • For example, if he wants to see you every day but you’d prefer every other day, you might compromise by calling each other on the phone on the days you aren’t together in-person.

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1. 

   Thank your boyfriend for chatting with you about your needs. It can be tough to hear that your partner needs more alone time, so let him know that you appreciate his willingness to talk with you. If he understands just how much this means to you, he’ll probably be more willing to adjust to a new schedule.^[8]
   

   • Try something like, “I know this wasn’t the easiest conversation to have, so thanks for talking about it with me.”

1. 

   It might be helpful to set aside specific days for your alone time. If a vague “every other day” or “once a week” schedule isn’t working, try saying, “On Tuesdays, I’m gonna head out after work for some alone time.” That way, your boyfriend knows when to expect it, and you can put it on the calendar as something to look forward to.^[9]
   

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1. 

   When you get your alone time, do relaxing activities that make you feel good. Alone time is only useful when you use it to your advantage—otherwise, it might not do you much good. Try playing music, spending time outdoors, drawing, or calling a friend you haven’t seen in a while. That way, you can come back to your boyfriend relaxed and de-stressed.^[10]
   

   • Scrolling through social media or watching TV might sound like relaxing activities, but they can actually leave you feeling drained and tired. Do something that fills you up instead of stressing you out.

1. 

   Dedicate the time you don’t need to be alone to spending it with your BF. When you two are together, do things that bring you closer, like going out on dates or trying new things together. The more you two can spend quality time with each other, the less of a bother it will be for him to give you some space.^[11]
   

   • Spending time with your partner and spending quality time together are slightly different things. Going grocery shopping or doing chores might be a way to spend time together, but they don’t bring you closer or strengthen your connection.

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1. 

   You might have to reinstate your boundaries at some point, and that’s okay. There may come a time when your boyfriend oversteps or forgets your need for alone time. If that happens, just sit him down again and gently remind him of what you two talked about earlier. Hopefully, he’ll understand that you’re just keeping your own boundaries, and he won’t be offended.^[12]
   

   • You could say something like, “Hey honey, we’ve been spending a lot of time together these past few weeks. I think I might take a few days to myself, just to rest and recuperate. I promise I’ll be more fun to hang out with once I recharge on my own.”

Advertisement

1. 

   Alone time can mean different things to different people. For some, alone time is heading out into the wilderness on their own. And for other people, alone time is sitting in the same room as their partner, but not talking to them. Sit down and think about what alone time means for you and ideally how often you’d like to have alone time throughout the week. You should never feel bad about asking for alone time—it’s a very healthy (and normal) thing to ask for.^[1]
   

Advertisement

1. 

   Choose a place where you and your boyfriend can talk openly and honestly. If you live together, try chatting in your living room or your kitchen. If you don’t, meet up at a secluded park when no one else is around. Try to pick a time when you’re both feeling calm and unstressed to ensure the conversation goes well.^[2]
   

   • If you aren’t sure whether your boyfriend is in the mood to talk, ask him something like, “Hey, is now a good time?”

1. 

   Head into the conversation with positivity, and try to have a discussion. You don’t want to tackle the problem by pitting you and your boyfriend against each other. Instead, think of it as you two vs. the problem: it’s you and your boyfriend figuring out how to meet your needs while in this relationship.^[3]
   

   • Try to avoid blaming your boyfriend, too. Stay away from phrases like, “You don’t give me enough alone time,” or, “We hang out too much.”

Advertisement

1. 

   Lead with a positive to make him feel less anxious. Hearing that your partner needs more alone time can be a little bit jarring, and it might give your boyfriend pause at first. Let him know that you genuinely enjoy his company and you want to be with him still before launching into your request. Try something like:^[4]
   

   • “You know I love spending time with you. Seeing you is the best part of my day!”
   • “I always have so much fun when we’re together. You bring out the best in me.”

1. 

   Mention how often you’d like to be alone, and don’t be afraid to get specific. If you only need a few hours to yourself, you could ask for alone time one day a week. Or, you could request that you and your boyfriend hang out every other day so you get alone time in chunks throughout the week. Making a specific request will be much easier for both of you to follow through on, which is why it’s important to keep this in mind.^[5]
   

   • For instance, you might say, “Maybe Tuesday nights could be our nights apart? I could go out and you could stay home, or vice versa.”
   • Or, you could say, “I was thinking we could see each other every other day instead of every day. That way, I have enough alone time throughout the week, and I come back to you feeling refreshed.”

Advertisement

1. 

   Remind your boyfriend that you need alone time away from everyone. He could be the most perfect boyfriend in the world, and you’d still need your space every now and then. Really emphasize that your need for alone time isn’t about him—it’s all about your needs and boundaries in the relationship.^[6]
   

   • Say something like, “This isn’t about you at all, okay? I’m just an introvert, and I’m not used to spending so much time with another person.”
   • Or, “I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you. I need a lot of space to recharge, and that’s always been a thing in my life.”

1. 

   Try to compromise if he wants less alone time than you. As you two chat, listen to what he wants and needs, and try to compromise with him as best you can. Be willing to be flexible, and talk together as a couple to make sure both of your needs are met.^[7]
   

   • For example, if he wants to see you every day but you’d prefer every other day, you might compromise by calling each other on the phone on the days you aren’t together in-person.

Advertisement

1. 

   Thank your boyfriend for chatting with you about your needs. It can be tough to hear that your partner needs more alone time, so let him know that you appreciate his willingness to talk with you. If he understands just how much this means to you, he’ll probably be more willing to adjust to a new schedule.^[8]
   

   • Try something like, “I know this wasn’t the easiest conversation to have, so thanks for talking about it with me.”

1. 

   It might be helpful to set aside specific days for your alone time. If a vague “every other day” or “once a week” schedule isn’t working, try saying, “On Tuesdays, I’m gonna head out after work for some alone time.” That way, your boyfriend knows when to expect it, and you can put it on the calendar as something to look forward to.^[9]
   

Advertisement

1. 

   When you get your alone time, do relaxing activities that make you feel good. Alone time is only useful when you use it to your advantage—otherwise, it might not do you much good. Try playing music, spending time outdoors, drawing, or calling a friend you haven’t seen in a while. That way, you can come back to your boyfriend relaxed and de-stressed.^[10]
   

   • Scrolling through social media or watching TV might sound like relaxing activities, but they can actually leave you feeling drained and tired. Do something that fills you up instead of stressing you out.

1. 

   Dedicate the time you don’t need to be alone to spending it with your BF. When you two are together, do things that bring you closer, like going out on dates or trying new things together. The more you two can spend quality time with each other, the less of a bother it will be for him to give you some space.^[11]
   

   • Spending time with your partner and spending quality time together are slightly different things. Going grocery shopping or doing chores might be a way to spend time together, but they don’t bring you closer or strengthen your connection.

Advertisement

1. 

   You might have to reinstate your boundaries at some point, and that’s okay. There may come a time when your boyfriend oversteps or forgets your need for alone time. If that happens, just sit him down again and gently remind him of what you two talked about earlier. Hopefully, he’ll understand that you’re just keeping your own boundaries, and he won’t be offended.^[12]
   

   • You could say something like, “Hey honey, we’ve been spending a lot of time together these past few weeks. I think I might take a few days to myself, just to rest and recuperate. I promise I’ll be more fun to hang out with once I recharge on my own.”

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