Как написать парню якобы случайно

16 сентября 2012, 11:42

#7

Лена

Хочу вернуть любимого. Для начала собираюсь ему написать «случайное» смс, якобы адресованное на самом деле подруге, но такое, чтобы он точно ответил и чтобы завязался разговор. Надо, чтобы было непонятно, ему оно адресовано или нет и чтобы он не догадался, что я смс послала специально. И самое главное (!!!), чтобы НЕ возникло подозрения, что смс предназначалось другому парню. Я как подумаю, что это мой один-единственный шанс, сразу начинаю нервничать и ничего путного не приходит в голову. Вообще, если учесть все, что я написала, он обязательно ответит, но я хочу, чтобы завязался разговор, а не оборвалось все на 2-3-х смсках.

16 сентября 2012, 11:43

#8

Лилиан

а прочему не другому парню? А что думаете написать?

16 сентября 2012, 11:45

#9

Kzuecmrf

А вы не думаете ,что ваш норме у него в телефоне в черном списке?

16 сентября 2012, 11:47

#10

ТИГРА

если мужчина любит он сам будет думать какое смс Вам написать… а если нет нафига за таким бегать? я не понимаю девушек которые типа случайно пишут… для меня это выглядит глупо

16 сентября 2012, 11:57

#16

я

А что вообще случилось с любимым,Вы уверенны что он захочет к вам возращаться, может там уже давно новая лЯбовь, может не стоит транить бесполезно силы и поискать другое счастье?

16 сентября 2012, 12:00

#17

Гость

16 сентября 2012, 12:02

#18

Мария

Лена, мы особенностей ваших взаимоотношений не знаем, так что вряд ли можно что-то путное посоветовать. Но если будете писать, то надо очень хорошо всё продумать. У меня была похожая ситуация, тоже так парню писала, правда не смс, а на почту, я вас понимаю, это очень страшно и нервотрепно, когда осознаешь, что если не напишешь чего-то уж совсем особенного, то каждое сообщение может стать последним. Но у меня получилось разговор вытянуть, так что всё возможно, вам удачи, надеюсь, всё у вас получится.

16 сентября 2012, 12:15

#22

гость

Ввяжется он в разговор или нет зависит от его настоящего отношения к вам, а не к тексту первой смс. Как ни заинтриговывай,- если человек безразличен его смс проигнорируют или односложно ответят.

16 сентября 2012, 12:18

#23

гость

Ввяжется он в разговор или нет зависит от его настоящего отношения к вам, а не к тексту первой смс. Как ни заинтриговывай,- если человек безразличен его смс проигнорируют или односложно ответят.

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16 сентября 2012, 12:22

#24

Элька

Золотые слова) автор , не страдай ерундой, хочешь вернуть его , позвони и нормально пообщайся, а эти, якобы ошибочные смс, он что, умственно-отсталый, чтобы не просечь, что это повод напомнить о себе, ну что за детский сад, в самом деле ?!

16 сентября 2012, 12:24

#25

Лена

Я с Вами согласна. Но одно дело, если он подумает, что это не ему, а какому-то другому парню и его это заденет и он не ответит. Или если он поймет, что это специальное «случайное» смс и ему не понравится, что я его за такого дурака держу или что-то в этом роде. А другое дело, если он, тоже желая со мной возобновить общение, получит невинную случайную смску, которая ему даст повод завязать разговор.

16 сентября 2012, 12:26

#26

Лена

У меня в телефоне такая функция к примеру, что если я кому-то писала недавно, то этот человек вылетает мне первый в списке, когда я хочу отправить смс. А мы неделю назад общались. Поэтому я могу случайно ему отправить. А позвонить я не могу. Как минимум потому, что сказала, что беспокоить его больше не буду. И я не прошу совета что мне делать.

16 сентября 2012, 12:27

#28

гость

16 сентября 2012, 12:28

#29

Ира

Как-то мы расстались….он хотел помириться, а я же «гордая» и не в какую! Промучилась несколько дней и послала ему смс «Позвони!» Он позвонил, мы поговорили, все выяснили, и все ок!

16 сентября 2012, 12:31

#30

гость

16 сентября 2012, 12:34

#31

Лена

16 сентября 2012, 12:35

#32

Лена

За 4 года отношений я наверно хорошо стала разбираться на что и как он может среагрировать. А про возможности своего телефона я написала выше. И у меня было такое и не раз, что я случайно ему писала. Но тогда это не имело никакого значения. А сейчас от этого зависит всё.

16 сентября 2012, 12:41

#33

Лена

16 сентября 2012, 12:43

#34

гость

16 сентября 2012, 12:47

#35

гость

16 сентября 2012, 12:50

#36

Лена

Так как мы общались всего неделю назад и у меня тогда никого не было, вряд ли новому бойфренду я рассказывала о книге Мураками «Охота на овец», к примеру Но вопрос в том, не подумает ли он что это какая-то чушь собачья и что я над ним издеваюсь

16 сентября 2012, 12:51

#37

Лена

Мне нужна хотя бы идея А что вы писали?

16 сентября 2012, 12:54

#38

гость

Конечно, чушь. Но вы же твердо решили именно таким способом возвращать его :-).

16 сентября 2012, 12:54

#39

Лена

Так как мы общались всего неделю назад и у меня тогда никого не было, вряд ли новому бойфренду я рассказывала о книге Мураками «Охота на овец», к примеру Но вопрос в том, не подумает ли он что это какая-то чушь собачья и что я над ним издеваюсь

16 сентября 2012, 12:57

#40

Лена

16 сентября 2012, 12:58

#41

гость

16 сентября 2012, 13:02

#42

Лена

Это как раз из разряда «Буду через 10 мин». Такой вариант тоже в запасе имеется

16 сентября 2012, 13:12

#43

гость

16 сентября 2012, 13:14

#44

гость

Чем больше вы будете думать, тем хуже у вас смс получится. Пишите уже что-нибудь!

16 сентября 2012, 13:19

#47

Лена

Не понимаете и не понимайте дальше. Я спрашиваю конкретно про текст смс, а не прошу совета, стоит ли писать или нет. У него своеобразный характер. Ответить он ответит и если я не сделаю неверного шага, все пойдет как надо. И сам начнет что-то делать.

16 сентября 2012, 13:22

#48

Izabella

Хм…помню я как то тоже страдала такой фигней. Только сделала по другому. Мы с подружкой провели заранее отрепетированный разговор в почте. А потом я зафигачила всю эту переписку своему парню типа по ошибке. При этом я сразу вдогонку послала второе письмо уже ему: мол ой сорри тебе по ошибке написала. Это было сделано для того, чтобы если бы на первое письмо он бы и не ответил, то на второе уже адресованное ему, он по любому должен бы был ответить, этого требовала элементарная вежливость. А переписка была про работу да про работу, но мелькало что-то типа что мне грустно, одиноко да и смотреть ни на кого не хочется и сходить вечером никуда неохота.Вобщем он клюнул и пригласил меня в кино и мы помирились.

16 сентября 2012, 13:24

#49

Лена

16 сентября 2012, 13:28

#50

ТИГРА

вам нужен был совет что написать? Совет: ничего! мне то что Вы же будете выглядеть глупо, а не я…. Лучше подумайте как подстроить встречу — это 100% выигрышней чем смс

Texting is a great way to get to know a guy you might be into. But how do you balance being interesting and fun without seeming like you’re trying too hard? Well, don’t worry—we’re here with plenty of tips you can use to keep your texts cute and casual, while still giving the two of you a chance to get to know each other better.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Collette Gee. Check out the full interview here.

1. 

   Texting «hey» is so basic. On the other hand, if you jump right in with an interesting question, he’ll be engaged in the convo right from the start. Try a cliff-hanger so he’ll want to know more. Or, if you want to get him laughing, go with something totally random! Try something like:^[1]
   

   • «Did you hear what happened today?»
   • «Want to hear a funny story?»
   • «Would you rather be an ant or a grasshopper? Go!»

Advertisement

1. 

   Show him you’ve been paying attention to what he said. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel with every conversation—sometimes the simplest way to start chatting is to ask him about something you already talked about. As a bonus, checking back in is a subtle way to show him that you care. For instance:

   • «Hey I remember you said you weren’t feeling well. Are you doing better?»
   • «How did you do on the SATs last weekend?»
   • «Did you have fun on your fishing trip?»

1. 

   If you both like the same things, it’s a built-in conversation starter. Maybe you both participate in the same activity, or you might both like the same bands or authors. Maybe you’re both friends with the same people. Or, maybe you had a fun shared experience together, and something reminded you of that. Any of those things are great jumping-off points for a text, and it definitely won’t seem like you’re trying too hard to come up with something to talk about. Try saying:^[2]
   

   • «I can’t believe we won at the very last second! Go CAVS!»
   • «I just snagged a vintage David Bowie vinyl at a ridiculous bargain. Listen party at my place?»
   • «Hey I haven’t seen James in a while but I heard he’s graduating tomorrow! Are you guys still close?»
   • «We have to get lunch at that food truck again! I passed by there today and immediately started craving another one of those wraps.»

Advertisement

1. 

   Poking a little fun could make him try harder to impress you. Think about his habits, little mistakes he’s made, or a funny story you heard about him. You can even tease him about something that other people would normally compliment him on! However, don’t tease him about anything he might be sensitive about, like his looks or something bad that happened. For instance, try something like:^[3]
   

   • «I heard you ate 10 pieces of pizza at Carlos’ house last weekend. I won’t be able to afford to pick up the check on our first date!»
   • «See you at the party tomorrow—as long as you don’t get lost on the way there again!»
   • «I gotta go study for the math test tomorrow. I guess you can just relax all night though, Mr. ‘I get an A every week’!»

1. 

   Bring out his competitive side. Does he always brag about being a great cook? Or maybe his friends can’t stop talking about how he’s secretly an amazing drummer. Ask him to prove it to you! Not only is this a fun way to tease him a little about his talents, but it’s a great excuse for the two of you to get together one-on-one. You could even send him a flirty dare to spice things up a little.^[4]
   

   • You could say, «I keep hearing you’re an epic gamer, but idk. I think we need to face off on Mortal Kombat.»
   • Or you might say something like, «I dare you to only speak in questions tomorrow. But you have to play it off so nobody knows it.»

Advertisement

1. 

   A little flattery is a subtle way to show someone you like them. Keep it brief and general—gushing for paragraphs about his gorgeous eyes or amazing sense of humor is definitely not casual. However, a quick little mention of it can hint that you’re into him without it turning into a huge deal. For instance:^[5]
   

   • «I loved the shirt you wore today. Is it new?»
   • «You’re probably the funniest person I know.»
   • «No wonder everybody loves you!»
   • «You’re really fun to talk to.»

1. 

   Give him a chance to talk more about his interests. Asking him questions will show him that you really want to get to know him better, but it’s still pretty casual. To keep it from feeling like an interrogation, try not to ask a bunch of unrelated questions in a row and share a few details about yourself. Also, ask follow-up questions about whatever he says to let him know you’re really into what he’s saying!^[6]
   

   • For instance, if you ask about his day and he says he was playing soccer, you might say, «Are you on a team or do you just play with friends?»
   • If he mentions that he ate at a certain restaurant, you could say, «I’ve never been there but I’ve been wanting to try it! What do you recommend on the menu?»
   • Try learning more about his interests by saying something like, «I don’t know much about rock climbing but it seems fun. How did you get into it?»

Advertisement

1. 

   Make sure he knows how interesting your life is! You don’t want him to think you’re just sitting around waiting for him to text, so casually mention what else you’re up to. That could be anything, like work, hanging out with friends, or trying out a new hobby. If he knows your schedule is packed, he’ll feel lucky to be a part of your busy day.^[7]
   

   • For instance, you might wrap up a conversation by saying something like, «Gotta run, my friend Jonah is having a Masked Singer watch party! You should come sometime!»
   • Or, you might tell him how much fun you had on your trip to the beach last weekend.
   • It doesn’t have to be super specific—you could say, «If you want to hang out Saturday I have some free time in the afternoon.»

1. 

   Emojis and gifs can a little flavor to your texts. It can sometimes be hard to pick up on a playful tone through text messages, but a well-timed wink emoji or dancing gif can help get your meaning across. Even an exclamation point or trailing dots can help add some nuance. Just don’t overdo it—try not to add a string of emojis to the end of every text or flood his screen with gifs, for instance.^[8]
   

   • Let him know you’re joking with playful emojis like 😂 or 😉.
   • Show you’re embarrassed with 🤦‍♀️.
   • Get casually flirty with 😘 or 😍.
   • Use your favorite gif to show you’re embarrassed, laughing, gloating, being sneaky, or having a great time.
   • Hint at more by trailing off your punctuation…

Advertisement

1. 

   Texting isn’t usually the best place for heavy conversations. For one thing, it can be hard to gauge what the other person is thinking without the benefit of seeing their facial expressions or hearing their tone of voice. That means it can be harder to know if they’re feeling frustrated or even offended. Stick to lighthearted texts, and wait until you’re together in person to talk about things like:^[9]
   

   • Religion
   • Finances
   • Politics
   • Race
   • Health problems
   • Relationship issues

1. 

   If he seems busy or bored, take a break from texting. Pay attention to how often he texts and how in-depth his messages are. If he’s responding quickly, asking follow-up questions, or coming up with conversation topics on his own, chances are good that he’s into it. On the other hand, if there are long gaps between texts and he’s sending short, flat messages, save the flirting for another time when he seems more interested.^[10]
   

   • If he’s always like that when you text, but he’s fun and engaging when you’re with him in person, he might just dislike texting!

Advertisement

1. 

   Try not to send more than 1 or 2 texts at a time. There are a lot of reasons for not responding to a text—he might have gotten busy, his phone might have died, or he may have fallen asleep, for instance. And there’s definitely nothing chill about blowing up his phone with a wall of texts, so if he doesn’t answer right away, take a break from the conversation.^[11]
   

   • If he never answers back, give it a few days, then strike up a new conversation. If he doesn’t respond to that either, work on finding a new cutie to text!

1. 

   It doesn’t necessarily have to be a date. Texting him about a hang-out can be a great way to move things forward without seeming like you’re trying too hard. This works especially well if it’s something super casual, like grabbing lunch at a new restaurant or getting together with a group of friends. You could also try something like:^[12]
   

   • «Hey can you swing by after work tomorrow? I need your advice on something.»
   • «I just interviewed for a job near your building and it went well! Let’s meet up so you can show me the best places to eat.»
   • «Come over and watch the game tomorrow? My roommate will have a few friends over. There will be wings!»

Advertisement

1. 

   Try to cut it off just when it’s getting good. Maybe he’s just sent a string of cry-laughing emojis, or maybe he just finished telling you how he scored the winning goal in the state soccer championship in high school. The conversation is flowing, you’re both feeling good—it might feel unnatural, but this is actually a great time to call it a day. You’ll leave him wanting more, as opposed to letting the conversation wind down until neither of you can think of anything else to say.

   • Don’t end things too abruptly—wait for a natural lull, then let him know you have to go.

Advertisement

Texting is a great way to get to know a guy you might be into. But how do you balance being interesting and fun without seeming like you’re trying too hard? Well, don’t worry—we’re here with plenty of tips you can use to keep your texts cute and casual, while still giving the two of you a chance to get to know each other better.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Collette Gee. Check out the full interview here.

1. 

   Texting «hey» is so basic. On the other hand, if you jump right in with an interesting question, he’ll be engaged in the convo right from the start. Try a cliff-hanger so he’ll want to know more. Or, if you want to get him laughing, go with something totally random! Try something like:^[1]
   

   • «Did you hear what happened today?»
   • «Want to hear a funny story?»
   • «Would you rather be an ant or a grasshopper? Go!»

Advertisement

1. 

   Show him you’ve been paying attention to what he said. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel with every conversation—sometimes the simplest way to start chatting is to ask him about something you already talked about. As a bonus, checking back in is a subtle way to show him that you care. For instance:

   • «Hey I remember you said you weren’t feeling well. Are you doing better?»
   • «How did you do on the SATs last weekend?»
   • «Did you have fun on your fishing trip?»

1. 

   If you both like the same things, it’s a built-in conversation starter. Maybe you both participate in the same activity, or you might both like the same bands or authors. Maybe you’re both friends with the same people. Or, maybe you had a fun shared experience together, and something reminded you of that. Any of those things are great jumping-off points for a text, and it definitely won’t seem like you’re trying too hard to come up with something to talk about. Try saying:^[2]
   

   • «I can’t believe we won at the very last second! Go CAVS!»
   • «I just snagged a vintage David Bowie vinyl at a ridiculous bargain. Listen party at my place?»
   • «Hey I haven’t seen James in a while but I heard he’s graduating tomorrow! Are you guys still close?»
   • «We have to get lunch at that food truck again! I passed by there today and immediately started craving another one of those wraps.»

Advertisement

1. 

   Poking a little fun could make him try harder to impress you. Think about his habits, little mistakes he’s made, or a funny story you heard about him. You can even tease him about something that other people would normally compliment him on! However, don’t tease him about anything he might be sensitive about, like his looks or something bad that happened. For instance, try something like:^[3]
   

   • «I heard you ate 10 pieces of pizza at Carlos’ house last weekend. I won’t be able to afford to pick up the check on our first date!»
   • «See you at the party tomorrow—as long as you don’t get lost on the way there again!»
   • «I gotta go study for the math test tomorrow. I guess you can just relax all night though, Mr. ‘I get an A every week’!»

1. 

   Bring out his competitive side. Does he always brag about being a great cook? Or maybe his friends can’t stop talking about how he’s secretly an amazing drummer. Ask him to prove it to you! Not only is this a fun way to tease him a little about his talents, but it’s a great excuse for the two of you to get together one-on-one. You could even send him a flirty dare to spice things up a little.^[4]
   

   • You could say, «I keep hearing you’re an epic gamer, but idk. I think we need to face off on Mortal Kombat.»
   • Or you might say something like, «I dare you to only speak in questions tomorrow. But you have to play it off so nobody knows it.»

Advertisement

1. 

   A little flattery is a subtle way to show someone you like them. Keep it brief and general—gushing for paragraphs about his gorgeous eyes or amazing sense of humor is definitely not casual. However, a quick little mention of it can hint that you’re into him without it turning into a huge deal. For instance:^[5]
   

   • «I loved the shirt you wore today. Is it new?»
   • «You’re probably the funniest person I know.»
   • «No wonder everybody loves you!»
   • «You’re really fun to talk to.»

1. 

   Give him a chance to talk more about his interests. Asking him questions will show him that you really want to get to know him better, but it’s still pretty casual. To keep it from feeling like an interrogation, try not to ask a bunch of unrelated questions in a row and share a few details about yourself. Also, ask follow-up questions about whatever he says to let him know you’re really into what he’s saying!^[6]
   

   • For instance, if you ask about his day and he says he was playing soccer, you might say, «Are you on a team or do you just play with friends?»
   • If he mentions that he ate at a certain restaurant, you could say, «I’ve never been there but I’ve been wanting to try it! What do you recommend on the menu?»
   • Try learning more about his interests by saying something like, «I don’t know much about rock climbing but it seems fun. How did you get into it?»

Advertisement

1. 

   Make sure he knows how interesting your life is! You don’t want him to think you’re just sitting around waiting for him to text, so casually mention what else you’re up to. That could be anything, like work, hanging out with friends, or trying out a new hobby. If he knows your schedule is packed, he’ll feel lucky to be a part of your busy day.^[7]
   

   • For instance, you might wrap up a conversation by saying something like, «Gotta run, my friend Jonah is having a Masked Singer watch party! You should come sometime!»
   • Or, you might tell him how much fun you had on your trip to the beach last weekend.
   • It doesn’t have to be super specific—you could say, «If you want to hang out Saturday I have some free time in the afternoon.»

1. 

   Emojis and gifs can a little flavor to your texts. It can sometimes be hard to pick up on a playful tone through text messages, but a well-timed wink emoji or dancing gif can help get your meaning across. Even an exclamation point or trailing dots can help add some nuance. Just don’t overdo it—try not to add a string of emojis to the end of every text or flood his screen with gifs, for instance.^[8]
   

   • Let him know you’re joking with playful emojis like 😂 or 😉.
   • Show you’re embarrassed with 🤦‍♀️.
   • Get casually flirty with 😘 or 😍.
   • Use your favorite gif to show you’re embarrassed, laughing, gloating, being sneaky, or having a great time.
   • Hint at more by trailing off your punctuation…

Advertisement

1. 

   Texting isn’t usually the best place for heavy conversations. For one thing, it can be hard to gauge what the other person is thinking without the benefit of seeing their facial expressions or hearing their tone of voice. That means it can be harder to know if they’re feeling frustrated or even offended. Stick to lighthearted texts, and wait until you’re together in person to talk about things like:^[9]
   

   • Religion
   • Finances
   • Politics
   • Race
   • Health problems
   • Relationship issues

1. 

   If he seems busy or bored, take a break from texting. Pay attention to how often he texts and how in-depth his messages are. If he’s responding quickly, asking follow-up questions, or coming up with conversation topics on his own, chances are good that he’s into it. On the other hand, if there are long gaps between texts and he’s sending short, flat messages, save the flirting for another time when he seems more interested.^[10]
   

   • If he’s always like that when you text, but he’s fun and engaging when you’re with him in person, he might just dislike texting!

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1. 

   Try not to send more than 1 or 2 texts at a time. There are a lot of reasons for not responding to a text—he might have gotten busy, his phone might have died, or he may have fallen asleep, for instance. And there’s definitely nothing chill about blowing up his phone with a wall of texts, so if he doesn’t answer right away, take a break from the conversation.^[11]
   

   • If he never answers back, give it a few days, then strike up a new conversation. If he doesn’t respond to that either, work on finding a new cutie to text!

1. 

   It doesn’t necessarily have to be a date. Texting him about a hang-out can be a great way to move things forward without seeming like you’re trying too hard. This works especially well if it’s something super casual, like grabbing lunch at a new restaurant or getting together with a group of friends. You could also try something like:^[12]
   

   • «Hey can you swing by after work tomorrow? I need your advice on something.»
   • «I just interviewed for a job near your building and it went well! Let’s meet up so you can show me the best places to eat.»
   • «Come over and watch the game tomorrow? My roommate will have a few friends over. There will be wings!»

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1. 

   Try to cut it off just when it’s getting good. Maybe he’s just sent a string of cry-laughing emojis, or maybe he just finished telling you how he scored the winning goal in the state soccer championship in high school. The conversation is flowing, you’re both feeling good—it might feel unnatural, but this is actually a great time to call it a day. You’ll leave him wanting more, as opposed to letting the conversation wind down until neither of you can think of anything else to say.

   • Don’t end things too abruptly—wait for a natural lull, then let him know you have to go.

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